WHAT DO I SAY WHEN

My daughter says, "You've been fat all your life what makes you think I should listen to you?"

By admin November 19

A common mistake we parents make is saying way too much at one time, and rushing into giving advice without taking steps to prepare our kids to listen. So in this case, the first thing you say is that it’s true; you’ve struggled all your life with weight. And that you understand her skepticism.

Then you tell her that you've learned some things from your mistakes and hope you can spare her some of the pain you’ve felt. Admit you’re not an expert, then tell her if it would be helpful you’re willing to find an "expert" to help. Try looking for expert advice online (like this website), or Weight Watchers, or you can find a therapist, nutritionist, or even a book.

Tell her you're willing to share with her what you've learned and she can decide what to accept and what not to believe. Only after you've had this conversation to find out if she's willing to listen or if she needs "expert" help is it worth pouring out your wisdom.

Dr. Kathie Jacobson is a licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. She holds both an M.S. and Ph.D. from Purdue University, and currently works with adolescents and their families in private practice.

Photo by: Laughlin