Anger: How To Deal
“One of my worst faults is my quick temper,” Grechen Ruben, author and happiness guru, blogged on Yahoo Shine!, “I’ve been working hard to control my anger—by not expressing it, or even better, not feeling it.” According to Grechen, expressing anger won’t necessarily make you feel better. Usually, it just makes things worse. Here are a few tips she lives by:
Don’t give in to my anger. Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it. I’ve certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. It’s better to stay calm.
Accept blame. I hate being in the wrong, and often snap back when people find fault with something I’ve done. Now I really try to pause to ask myself, “Am I in the wrong?” and to respond with gentleness.
Find “an area of refuge.” Research shows that when people’s thoughts are unoccupied, brooding sets in. So I try to “find an area of refuge” in my mind; that is, to dwell on serene thoughts instead of brooding and fussing.
Ask: “Am I improving the situation?” When I have the urge to snap, I think, “Is this going to help the situation?” And the answer is always NO.
Laugh. Humor is the answer to everything (humor and exercise). Now when I absolutely can’t hold back my anger, I at least try to insert a joke, or make fun of myself, or assume a lighter tone as I rant on … The added advantage of this approach is that no matter how the other person responds, I feel less angry and more light-hearted when I adopt a lighter tone.
For more of Grechens tips on squelching anger, read the full article.
What kinds of things set you off and how do you deal?
Photo by: isforinsects
By January 20
Nobody likes being ticked off, but some things can really get under your skin (like smearing your newly painted nails… on your newly purchased designer handbag).
